Saturday, December 22, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
Thursday morning, we wake up in Spain. That's Europe. For the next couple days we'll travel Spain, from Madrid to Sevilla to the vicinity of Gibraltar...
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
At the aiport. Bart holds up a sign reading "Robert Goulet"
Monday, October 29, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
I haven't owned a car since the Whale Shark. Imagine this, only without AC, power windows, a working gas tank meter, and the uncertainty of death constantly reinforcing itself everytime you turn the key and put it in drive:
My love affair with the Whale Shark ended about 3 years ago. Now my new whore mistress is the BMW 330xi. In blue. Mmmm. Does anybody have 35K I can hold for a minute?I also want you in dark blue.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
I have been looking for a clean version of this theme song for years. Years. And it started small. I heard the song. I liked it. I wanted to hear it whenever I wanted. Not at 1130am on a Tuesday on TBS. And this was before the digital age was fully realized. I didn't have a Google search. I didn't have YouTube. I didn't have iTunes. And now I do. And I STILL can't find a good copy of this song.
I do, finally, have a shitty recording of this song. I found a windows media version on some TV Theme website where some guy records songs on a boombox to tape off his television. So I've got that. But it sucks. And there's a CBS themes CD out there somewhere with this song on it, I remember seeing it at a Tower Records (RIP) back in high school, but being the high schooler I was, I didn't have the $20 to impulsively drop on a CD like that. And now thru Amazon, iTunes, you name it, I can't find that CD. Stinks.
So the quest continues. I will find this song. I will have a clean version, on my iTunes, for me to dance around a black and white New York City to. It will be mine, oh yes, it will be mine.
Cosby Theme. It's called Monk's Hat. Written by Benny Golson. The Don Braden Octet does a version of it. To be continued...
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Hopefully I'll be able to find the time later today or tomorrow to jot down something somewhat amusing. But for now, nod your head to Phantom Planet and pretend the OC never existed...it'll help you enjoy the song a little more.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Be Here Now came out in 1997, in so honor of its 10 year anniversary, I’m teaming up with the biggest Oasis fan this side of the pond, the one and only Michael P. Collins, for a little give and take, track by heavily-overdubbed track, of Oasis’ love letter to, um, something I’m sure, but who really can remember when you do all that coke. (Mike's responses are in italics)
D’you Know What I Mean? (7:44)-
Aces, just aces. Start with countless guitar overdubs (a running theme on this record), some backwards effects, maybe a little helicopter, some wah-wah, and just groove on it. We’re singing about Manchester, lads, so obviously we don’t need to get to the second verse until well into the third minute. Also, the tried and true Em-G-D-A (capo 2nd) is in effect here, as it was on previous hits.
I remember hearing this track for the first time on the radio and thinking “wow, that’s a long intro.” That is, until I heard the album version, which tacked on an additional 45 seconds of a car racing down the road—right into that long intro. What was that about? It’s easy to blame the cocaine for such excess (and rightly so). But think about this: three years before the band had no record deal. Fast forward that time and they’re the biggest band in the world, making one of the most anticipated records in years. So, if someone (Noel) announces, “eh ar’ let’s hav a fookin’ car on the album”, you nod yer head, and put yer money where yer mouth is.
But back to the track. Like Brett, I agree: this track is ace. I like how Noel sounds like he’s saying “fuck”. But it’s backwards so he isn’t. Who ever said Oasis wasn’t clever? Liam sounds pissed off on this one. Nice. I still think it’s a annoying that the chords ARE THE EXACT SAME used in “Wonderwall”. Also, Noel, lazy as he is, sticks two Beatles song titles in the lyrics—back to back. “The Fool on the Hill and I Feel Fine”. Genius? You decide.
My Big Mouth (5:02)-
When I bought this CD on the day it came out, I took it up to my room, slapped on a pair of headphones, and let the music do the talking. It worked for track 1. I’m not going to lie…about five seconds into this track, I skipped to track 3. I’m not the biggest My Big Mouth fan. I’ll let Michael weigh in on this one a little further.
I have to disagree. From day one (August 26, 1997-its on the album cover trainspotters!!) to the present, I have loved this song. Liam’s vocal is killer and the pre-chorus is the best Noel’s has ever written. I read somewhere that there are 33 rhythm guitar tracks on this track. Bonehead plays one of them. By the way, after the track ends, you’ve been listening to this record for 12:46 seconds. It’s a long ride.
Magic Pie (7:19)-
Now let’s remember its 1997, and I don’t know jack shit about music. Sure, I owned a bass (a beautiful one that I still rip it up on), and I could pluck a tune, but I was still learning my way around a song. So when I first heard Magic Pie…I was blown the fuck away. Sure, he’s singing about a magic pie, whatever the fuck that is, but the chord progression, the mood, the feedback, the Noel…it all worked. And it only took about five or six years to realize that this song is shit. Glorious, glorious shit. I love it.
Yeh, I never really liked this, notwithstanding the fact a friendship was started because of a discussion regarding this track (a firm handshake to Brett). The hit hat is too loud in the mix, which is saying a lot for Be Here Now. They put Stay Young here and they could have shifted another 500,000 copies and notched another half-star in a review or two.
Stand By Me (5:56)-
This was my favorite when I first heard the album. Liam snarls his ways through this one (I bet it was one take, I’d bet the farm) and Noel riffs his ways over everything. Verses, chorus, outro’s. EVERYTHING! In all seriousness, the string arrangement is class—an over looked fact. Oasis has always done strings tastefully.
Good tune. I don’t have any real emotional connection to this song, but if I remember correctly my brother loves it. This song, in title only, was also a huge hit for Ben E. King, but I’m sure Noel doesn’t give a shite.
I Hope, I Think, I Know (4:22)-
Not counting the All Around the World reprise, this is the shortest song on the record. I hadn’t listened to this one in a long time until now…and it still kicks ass.
This is the “Hey Now” of the record. Best line: “You’ll never forget my name”. Noel was too lazy (high) to write a second verse, so the first one is repeated twice—except the pronouns are different the second time around. Was that a game time decision. Me thinks, yes.
The Girl in the Dirty Shirt (5:47)-
This one falls in the Magic Pie category of me going absolutely apeshit when I first heard it. Who’s the girl in the dirty shirt? I dunno, but she inspired a cracking tune. That outro still gets me, with the slick keys in the background, and Noel’s high harmony (does he ever do a harmony that isn’t a high harmony?). Tops.
Agreed. Again, the pre-chorus is the best part. Noel was writing great pre-chorus’ then. For the record, the Girl in the Dirty Shirt was Noel’s first wife. Guess things weren’t going to well when the best thing he could say about his misses is that she wears a dirty shirt. They divorced in 2000. Love fades in and fades out doesn’t it………
Fade In-Out (6:52)-
…..what a segue way. This tune is awful and sounds like bad Bon Jovi (“Dead or Alive”). How long do we get to listen to the band hold on the D sus2 chord before Liam instructs to “get on the rollercoaster”? Too long. Next.
This one, like My Big Mouth, was a song I normally skipped over in 1997. Actually, 10 years later, I think I still skip over this one. But that’s Johnny Depp on the slide!
Don’t Go Away (4:48)-
Ballad. Single. Great. I used to think the lyric was “…cos I need more time, just to make these rhymes…” which I thought was bollocks. But it’s “…cos I need more time, just to make things right…” which makes a lot more sense. I was 16 and wet behind the ears.
Ah, that’s better. The best song on the album. Liam’s best vocal ever. And again, a class French horn arrangement. And I love how Noel removed his index finger off the last C chord. Listen for it in the left speaker. One more thing, there are sleigh bells on this track. Did anyone ever notice that?!
Be Here Now (5:13)-
Title track. “Your shit jokes remind me of Digsy’s.” Good whistle. I don’t really have much else to say about this one. Because…
“Flash your pan at the song that I’m singing. Touchdown bass, living on the run. Make no sweat of the hole that you’re digging”………
Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
All Around the World (9:20!!!!)-
Cingular is now the new AT&T. Thank god, because now this song is immortal, which is how I felt when I first heard it. This is another one of my brother’s favorites. I mean, the song’s almost 10 minutes long. And there’s a reprise at the end of the record. Oasis! Oasis! Oasis!
Way too long. But a great track. Great horn arrangement too. I have Cingular, too. Any self respecting Oasis fan would.
It’s Gettin’ Better (Man!) (6:59)-
This is a great song. A truly great lost Oasis classic, with some decent lyrics for once. And how about the middle bit?! As close to a jam as Oasis would ever get. I would love to know how many times Noel and Liam sing “we’re getting better man”, at the end. 35 times, maybe?!
This one I always lump together with the title track. I don’t know why they always remind me of one another, they just do. Did this song need to be 7 minutes? Short answer: yes.
All Around the World (Reprise) (2:08)-
No Beatles influence here. Come on, what a fitting end to the biggest record of 1997. For the record, the only two tracks to make me and Mike’s Oasis Supermix where D’You Know What I Mean and All Around the World, but listening to it now, I wish we would have put the reprise on there too, as the last track.
Oasis never leaves you wanting more, do they? At least not here. The tune ends with the shutting of a door. The closing of an era perhaps? Maybe. I’d like to think it was the man driving the car at the beginning of “D’ya know what I mean?.” He arrived home. Exhausted. Listening to Be Here Now will do that. I bet he was thinking “Where is the bass?”
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
The doctor will see you now
You've got the infomercial that hooked me...why would you let me down like that? Oh right, probably because you're spending your time making infomercials.
And I'm spending my time editing video that are basically infomercials.
Fuck it, I've got a music video to plan. And a demo reel to edit.
San Francisco says hello, see you on Thursday New York. I never thought a place existed outside of New York that had more crazy people per square block. Then I came to SF. A woman tried to punch me yesterday. For no reason. Well, surely she had her own reasons, but none that would've made sense to me. Wait...would? Wood? Dr. Wood Splitter? I probably wood have needed him yesterday if that punch wood've landed.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
We didn't get a private room, because the main bar area got pretty crazy as the night wore on, and I spent the night, aside from getting pretty hammered off Sapporo and Sake (ah, Sake, its like getting drunk on boiled Rice Krispies), trying to figure out the perfect song to sing along to. Now, this is an ongoing struggle for me. Sure, you've got your easy crowd-pleasers: Elton John, U2, Oasis, even Billy Joel or some 80's throwback. But I'm constantly trying to up my game. Maybe some Kenny Loggins? Maybe some Elvis? Or even the Kenny Rogers classic "What Condition My Condition Was In."
The key to good karaoke is not to sing a song you personally love, or a song you think people will recognize, because it's not about that. It's about getting that vibe going in the room as you belt it out. People don't need to know the words, they're on the screen. People don't need to like the song, because you'll do that for them. You have to croon. You have to sing to the ladies. So you gotta pick a song that's going to do that. The main example is The Cable Guy:
I mean, Jefferson Airplane...just a classic choice. Judd Apatow once again, ladies and gentlemen.
So what did I do? I didn't toe the line, I just sang a sure hit. Oasis...Don't Look Back in Anger...again. I crooned. I sang to some ladies. And I found a pocket of folks in the corner who sang along every word with me. It wasn't my best performance (that would be the time a couple years ago when I sang Elton John's Your Song and had a girl asking to go home with me afterwards...nice), but it was still pretty solid. Sigh.
It's just...you have so many Japanese cocktails and you grow impatient. The song selection books are huge, and how are you supposed to wade through all those thousands of songs to find the right one for the right moment for the right crowd? So I think I'll start carrying a "karaoke grocery list" with me, for just these cases. But that's going to be a process. But the next time I'm faced with a karaoke decision...it will be legendary.
And not like this poor bastard:
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
So she starts either thinking hard about it, or just humoring me, and starts going through her list of friends. One of them already has a boyfriend "in the works," and by "in the works" that can surely only mean that it was love at first sight and they're planning on eloping this weekend thereby making her off limits until the end of time (sarcasm duly noted, thanks). Another of her friends is too ditzy for me to be interested in. Really? Let me quote my friend Deric: "Well, she's no rocket scientist." "Well, I'm not looking for any kind of scientist." So I guess I won't be meeting the dumb friend, either. Hell, it could have worked. I could have faked interest in So You Think You Can Dance, right?
And then the last possibility from her friend pool ended like this: she'd be good for you, but I think she'd like you too much.
I'm sorry? Like me too much? Now granted, I'm not looking for a serious relationship. But you're telling me this girl would get to know me, have no choice but to fall in love with me, and I'd be the one in the unfortunate position having to let her down easy? What the fuck does "she'd like you too much" mean? Because it definitely doesn't mean what it thinks it means. I just going to start wearing a button that says "Hug me. I don't want a relationship with you, I just need the human contact from the opposite sex."
(gun shot to the face)
Fuck it, I've got a music video to plan.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Maybe it's because I have this deep desire to make all of these shitty "horror" movies better. House of Wax is a great little concept: attractive teens stumble across redneck town where they're picked off one by one by two crazy brothers who turn some of them into wax statues. I mean, who cares about the premise in the big picture...all of these movies are about the same thing: fictionally bumping off archetypes of people who piss you off in real life. The respective settings for these bloodbaths are different ways to be clever. Right now, Jared Padalecki is being waxed alive.
I've always wanted to revamp an shitty version of a potentially okay movie. It began when saw I Still Know What You Did Last Summer. That was the first time I felt truly disrespected by a movie. Yeah, I was in high school, and going to random movies with your girl was just another step in the process of eventually getting to second base before 11pm. But I Still Know... set off this thing inside me that craved these shit horror movies. Maybe it was just knowing that I could do better. Right now, Jared Padalecki is off screen for the time being.
Then they made a movie based on House of the Dead. A horrible, horrible, horrible movie. This one I couldn't even sit through, even with the Erica Durance nudity. But this one stung for another reason. Back in high school, when I would frequent the Oaks movie theater, I'd always spy the House of the Dead 2 arcade game, beckoning me to play as one of the two brothers who dress is sharp gray suits to shoot up some zombies. So in my mind, I was going to write a sequel to the video game, as a movie. Two wise cracking brothers, dressed in expensive suits, who hunt zombies. Come on, that's a pretty good premise. But then Uwe Boll fucked it up, like he has so many movies before it. Right now, Jared Padalecki is having part of his face accidentally chopped off as he sits at a piano.
I've got a pretty good idea for the slasher movie I'm going to write. I've got a title, some characters, a setting, and a reason for someone to go crazy enough to slaughter all their close friends and family so people can spend $11 a ticket to watch it all go down while they crinkle their god damned bags of candy during the quiet parts of the movie. It's on the pile...after Stickboy, the cop show, and about a half dozen others. Right now, Jared Padalecki is dead.
Last week I saw Behind the Mask: the Rise of Leslie Vernon. Holy shit, what a great movie. It mixes serious horror and dark, dark comedy and gets everything right. Go out and rent/buy/Netflix this movie, and thank me later. But now, I'm going to finish watching House of Wax. Paris Hilton is about to be skewered in her underwear...only this time not in home video night vision.